2003.08.12.
-Land of Confusion-
Song of the Moment:
Neon Genesis Evangelion <> "Tamashi no Rufuran (remix)"
Got back from Con yesterday morning. I got alot of How-To-Draw Manga books, Gravitation OVAs on DVD, 2 random volumes of Mars, and the Serenity and Eternal Sailor Moon bubble figures.
Lots of stuff happened. I sat in the booth, half-assedly helped sell manga, wandered around, had an angst fest, found a body guard, got a glass of coke spilled down my pants (daijoubu), got to play follow the truck, and met alot of odd people.
Atashi no kareshi, Craig desu. Suki, suki yo.
Today I played DDR with Stacy, only to find my second mat (The one I just fucking bought) is royally fucked. The back arrow doesn't register at all! *sigh* now I have to get another one...
And I'm still confused.
What to do? What to do?...
It's a full moon, and you can see mars. Go look! Now!
Toki no naka de shizuka ni furuete'ru
Inochi no yukue wo toikakeru you ni
Yubisaki wa watashi wo motomeru "
2003.08.07.
-Roll the Dice?-
Song of the Moment:
Def Leppard <> "Love Bites"
Feeling kinda numb right now. Last night was a wonderful emotional rollercoaster. There are so many things I don't want to forget.
If I say I'm ok, I'm still allowed to cry. If it's ok, I can't just give up hope. Understand? "You love what you love."
But the future is constantly changing. Guess it can do that, since it's not set in stone. Destiny? Destiny?
I defy you stars!
No, not numb, I feel stronger. In some odd way I can't explain.
On the other hand, I'm going to chicago saturday for some anime convention. Hopefully I'll have fun.
It's bringin' me to my knees
Love lives, love dies
It's no surprise
Love begs, love pleads
It's what I need "
2003.08.03.
-1 New Message-
Song of the Moment:
Led Zepplin <> "All of My Love"
Hi...Ok so I slacked off again. Gomen ne.
So what have I been up too? *laughs* Stuff. Hm...lets see...I read all the rest of the "Dead Until Dark" books...muttered around the house...talked to Dave...made Stacy go shopping with me...resisted growling at that someone again...did alot of other random seemingly meaningless things...took up painting cels...got lots of manga and some dvds...did more random meaningless stuff...slept...
That's how it goes, ne?
I should post some of my cells up here. So far I've done 5 and my favorite is on my wall. Problem with that is the frame I bought was too big so I ended up taping the cell to the wall and then hanging the frame around it ^^;. Every time I look at it I laugh.
I had an idea for a sort of contest/challenge thing where you write a story to the song you are currently listening to. Then I decided I didn't feel like it, but after thinking about it a bit maybe I'll do it anyway. I haven't written in awhile. It might be fun. But would that mean this song? Hm...anyone care to join in? I could make a site for this...
Speaking of sites, I'm currently working on updating mine. (yeah I know it's been awhile...).
It's storming outside. It's cold in here. I slept in. There's no one to talk to right now. But I have a message. I'm happy.
Atashi wa ureshi desu.
Oh all of my love, to you now
All of my love, All of my love
Yes, all of my love, to you child "
2003.07.16.
-Bill is a Vampire-
Song of the Moment:
Smashing Pumpkins <> "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"
Well I thought I would get a normal night's sleep...I pass out at 11-whatever and wake up at 4am...*sigh*
I got my own copy of Charlaine Harris's "Dead Until Dark" and "Living Dead in Dallas" and "Club Dead". Wahahah. I also got Peach Girl:Change of Heart 3. I must admit, although the site said different, I only started reading Dead Until Dark 2 days ago. I'd always misplace it. So I've had it for like a month now, and I read it all in one and half days. *sigh* I'm a slacker. But I liked it. BILL! And Bill is sparkely on the third book cover! *glitter* *glitter*
And I'm proud of myself, I didn't give a certain (wrong) someone the evil glare of death. I can control myself. I have wonderful self control...yeah I swear....Ok so maybe I didn't because I was ignoring/being ignored by him. Our lack of words made it easier for me to not feel like growling.
*grrrrrr*
But talking to Dave was fun. My friends find him entertaining. ^__^ That's a good thing.
And I REALLY need a new matress.
Sometimes I don't understand people. Sometimes I don't want to understand. I won't let it get to me, I won't let them get to me. "Is it safe?"
But I have Bill. Which reminds me, song parody time! Ok so I have one line..."Bill is a vampire, tryin' to change." But later this week I will have an entire song. Maybe if I read the other two books I'll have more material.
I woke up earlier from a dream. I was overheating, very uncomfortable. I don't remember the dream though, I did alot of fidgeting when I woke up. Oh well. Oh well...
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get, for my pain
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game "
2003.07.14.
-Day o Nothing-
Song of the Moment:
Garbage <> "Only Happy When It Rains"
Well today sucked. Dani-chan is home, but I won't see her anytime this week. *sob* She has family stuff and parent issues to take care of. No one else was around to talk to. I missed talking to Davey last night, but he didn't forget to say goodnight out of nowhere. Everyone here seems to be on a "what can we do to piss you off?" streak. I just want to collapse. Right now I feel like bitching. I think I need caffine. I haven't had caffine in weeks. I haven't been able to sleep lately again. I'll sleep for like an hour and wake up and go back to sleep and wake up again...ect. And my stomach still wants to claim it's independence or something. Myu...nothing wants to go right today. I still can't get this camera to work. They're all calling me stupid.
I did go shopping for a bit today. I got a new pair of shoes that look semi evil. They were $2.99 and they're neat. Go Goodwill! (even though I can't stand that place cause the people are pushy and greedy) And I got two 50-packs of disks and some more DVD cases. And a box of Goldfish crackers...just because.
I spent the whole morning burning disks. ^^; and none of them were for me...but this next batch will be.
Oh yesterday I we returned the DVD player and got a new one. The audio works now. And I watched the rest of Comic Party. And then I watched all of Momoiro Sisters. And then I dug around for downloads and found DNAngel 14. It was funny. I also found the Cowboy Bebop movie. But it's still going. 955 mbs ^^; that's gonna need to be broken up or it won't fit on disk...
My brother helped me set up my new cabinet thing, cause the DvD player didn't fit in the other one, so we stole the one out of the kitchen and put mine in it's place.
Mou...this week's gonna suck ass...
I'm still stuck on page 4 of my manga. I know what I want, but I can't draw it right...>_< *frustration*
I found some cool Boogiepop artbook scans though that I'm using for my next layout. Gotta keep myself entertained somehow.
You wanna hear about my new obsession?
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains "
2003.07.12.
-Visual Assult-
Song of the Moment:
Do As Infinity <> "Fukai Mori"
For some reason I love this song. :D So now I'm downloading more of their music. So far I haven't found anything I like as much as this one though...*sigh*
Yesterday we found out they moved the South Shore Blow Up The Beach thing to this weekend. So last minute we went down there. But they didn't blow up the beach last night, they just played Monster's Inc. and had 5 minutes of fire works. Regardless it was a nice night out on the beach. I stared at the stars and my parents found "UFOs". So it wasn't a total loss.
But, they did blow up the beach tonight. ^__^ MWAHAHAHA! We went back. Saw The Toys play for awhile, got stuck in the crowd. Sat next to a panicy lady, got our view obstucted by drunks. I wanted to take Dani to Blow Up The Beach, but she's gone this weekend. T_T She wouldn't have liked the crowd anyway. I didn't like the crowd. But the fireworks are always the best.
And we got icecream afterwards at Leon's. They're the place that sponsers the fireworks, and they were on the way home. ^__^ Icecream! Guess which flavor I had? I'll give you a clue: ~V~A~N~I~L~L~A~
Last night I dreamt I was an expert of breaking out of lockers and we (me and random person I didn't know) were breaking into this old house. I remember quite clearly that the window on the back door had been broken in by a flock of little bitty black birds. The house itself was very creepy and oldfashion. It made me want to explore, and I felt as if I was chasing someone I couldn't see. Then Dave popped in there somewhere. Me and him got into a mock argument and started acting like children and whoever I was with was getting really frustrated with us and told him to "do something or go away" so he left out the window and I called after him "P-I-G! PIG! PIG!" But it wasn't to be insulting. The dream made no sense at all.
Then I woke up and reset the alarm clock and went back to sleep and dreamt of Tobias. We were stuck somewhere, like we were being held captive or something. Prisoners of an imaginary war. I got the feeling that it wasn't our captors keeping us from leaving, it was our fears. It was more of an emotional dream. Not really easy to put into words, but very dark and dreary with a kind of glimmer of light sparked by my bond to Tobias.
That sounds silly ne? Do you think it's possible to have a grip on someone's soul? Sometimes I wonder. Today I feel distant.
I woke up this morining with a DVD player in my bed. 3-disk DVD-MP3-JPEG-SVCD-(toaster)...Unfortunatly the thing has driven me mental already. The player itself is fucked. The sound is either really loud, scratchy, or nonexistant. And that can change at any second. So tomorrow it has to go back to the store. Though I guess gifts for no apparent reason (or as I'm told the reason is that grandma got Rikki an air conditioner for his room) are nice. Now if only someone would catch on and buy me a new matress. *sigh* Maybe they know if they did that I would sleep all day? Or would I? Maybe I wouldn't sleep so much if I slept comfortably in the first place. Then again that would require killing a few mental demons. Dani's teaching me to meditate. I've tried on my own, but it hasn't really worked yet. Maybe I have to work at it.
Poor Navi needs a break. 'S been running for a week straight.
Friday morning I had a dream that me and the guy with obnoxious red hair that was in like two other dreams I had (the first he challenged Tobias as my "New Lover" and claimed he was a god) were helping this old man find his stolen cane in this big building. It was almost like a college mixed with a mall. So we found this lil health hut/hospital and told them the old guy needed his cane and they told us to go ask the people on the second floor. The second floor was like a giant library of security boxes. Once we got up there the old guy got the key to his box and dissapeared and I snapped and went into "I think I remember this..." mode. So I dragged the guy along the walls looking for my box that I claimed had my wings in it. I kept telling him that if I found the box I could go home and if I found the box I could cure all his pain and all this wonderful shit. I remember seeing this blue light in my head whenever I talked about the box.
I really have to ask that guy what the fuck his name is. He can be really rude sometimes.
But that's neither here nor there right now. I'm tired. I watched the first disk of Comic Party. The subtitles are much better then on Gravitation. They actually make sense. Well cept for a few spelling errors. The only other gripe is that for some reason there are no english subs on the begining parts of the episodes (before the title screen). For somereason they decided not to sub the beginings? Hm...Oh and they had a special little side story episodes that weren't subbed at all either. And the guy with the random english is scary and insane.
Oh I forgot to post the latest Goodbye Kitty the other day.
Here it is --> Goodbye Kitty Hangs
nakushite'ku sukoshi zutsu
itsuwari ya uso wo matoi
tachisukumu koe mo naku
As we live on
We lose a little bit more
Shrouded in falsehoods and lies
We stand frozen to the spot, unable to cry out "
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