2002.09.19.
-Sprialing Through My Head-
Song of the Moment:
Luna Sea <> "Imitation"
Where was I yesterday? Work, then I took Dani out to lunch, then we went to Greenfield park, then visited Hale, then eventually looped our way back around home. I don't know what happened, I was happy all day and then we got back home and all of a sudden I was hit by an oncoming rush of total depression. Was bad...and Dani said I was burning up all feverishly. But as my wonderful immune system works, it's completly gone today. And I'm feeling quite a bit better. Yes no more talk of throwing myself into oncoming traffic. Right after Dani left I choked down a few bites of a burger, then curled up under my covers and cried myself to sleep. Yesterday was a good/bad day.
And I didn't get any reading in...*sob. The other night I got the first 120 pages read, and for the next two days I'll be working "all day" so I probably won't get to read.
And it has just been decided that I will be taking a lil trip down to madison to stay with melissa for awhile. Mental health reasons. No one seems to understand.
"Anata no hitomi wa garasu no you ni
Nani mo utsusanai
Yume sae mo mienai"
2002.09.17.
-Illness Undefined-
Song of the Moment:
Green Day <> "Good Riddance(Time of Your Life)"
So it started in my back, moved down to my gut and is now a sharp pain in my side. This is what I get for not sleeping last night...hm. At least I didn't feel crappy till after I woke up from my unexpected nap. And at least then the back pain was gone. So I was sitting out my sickness by watching the two volumes of Ceres that I baught yesterday and then starting in with "Drawing Blood". I got to the end of chapter 3 before Melissa came back online. Poor Trev. And I promise I won't harm the book in any way Dani-chan....kami-sama knows you'd proably knaw off my arm or worse...(yes there was a death threat...*sob* Dani-chan don't you trust me?)
Hm...work today...wasn't bad. Even if I had to count the candy aisle by myself...I felt kinda wierd waiting this moring, as it was that I got to the Park 'n' Ride 10 minutes early and it was like abandoned. So then I think "I read my schedual right didn't I?" and "Oh crap I hope so..." and "Damn it's cold dude, close the window...". But it turns out I was the only one who needed to be picked up this morning. Well arn't I special...
I'm debating taking up writing again, seeing as how my drawing skills are starting to slack again. Question is what to write? Half of me wants to pick up my old books and redo them so that I can satisfied-ly move on to the third. Ah poor Daraius who only saw 1 page of his life. He was such a fun character in my head...The other half of me wants to do something else, not quite yet knowing what.
As a whole, right now I'm wondering why my mouth tastes of blood. Added to the fact that I woke up looked in the mirror and found red stains on my teeth made me wonder if I was bleeding, but I'm not. And the stains were only soup, I cooked lunch wahahaha (I swear I didn't put blood in the cookies). So...yeah...puzzlement.
And once again the music never ends. When I'm not reading, or watching anime, I'm listening to my music and sitting here keeping Navi and Melissa company. This is what I do in my past time. But I can't complain. I have Melissa to talk to, and am quickly becomming addicted to Poppy Z. Brite (wahahaha I finished WormWood last night, and I think I already said I finished Lost Souls last week...the fuzzy pink bunny book ^__^), and as always I love my music. How better to express my current mood then by wailing to my favorite tunes. English, japanese, german...it's all good. Music can express emotion no matter if you understand the words or not. I think that's why I like my JRock. I always get asked why.
I didn't sleep last night, I don't even remember waking up. It's like I was asleep but not really. The all glorious state of nothinginess again. But during my nap I had a work/ceres related dream. I was counting endless boxes that bore the name "Yuhi". I was just like...ok whatever. That's all I remember though.
Yuhi is glomping Aya, and Aki is digging the end of a pair of handcuffs into Toya's wrists. Aki why are you being a bastard!?!?! Run away Toya! That's right rip of that dog collar, tell them you're not their bitch anymore and run! WOOHOO! You Go bi- I mean boy!
"Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredicatable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life..."
2002.09.16.
-A Secret Surprise In Every Box-
Song of the Moment:
System Of A Down <> "Science"
Nothing happened today. NOTHING! 'Cept the freaky dream in the wanna be church where men were raping lil children and this vampiric demon thing was after my flesh. And I lost all the color in my hair. It was wierd.
Um...I went to Take 2 (and put one back) and they had nothing. And then I went to Half Price Books and they were having a 20% off everything sale so I picked up the next two volumes of Ceres (3 & 4). When I actually started watching them I was kinda disappointed though. I mean I knew there were copies, but I didn't know they were taped off someone's computer. It wouldn't be so bad if the quailty were better. It's kinda hard to read. Oh well, it'll have to do for now.
They didn't have any Poppy Z. Brite there. Cept something that was like a collection of lustful vampiric stories by random authors, with her name on the cover. I was confused. It said Poppy Z. Brite on the cover, but you open it up and it was like "(Story title) by (author)" So I was like I'll pass.
"Science has failed to recognize
The single most potent element of human existence
Letting the reigns go to the unfolding
Is Faith, Faith, faith, FAITH
Science has failed our world
Science has failed our mother earth
Spirit moves through all things
Spirit moves through all things
Spirit moves through all things"
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